I finally feel like I am getting my feet back under me after
making the move back to Minnesota. I
wanted to put some thoughts down about the past 11 months because I am so quick
to forget. When I am quick to forget, it
makes me quick to complain. So much happened
in our lives and hearts and it is hard to condense it into a few short points,
but here are a few ways God was sanctifying me and shaping me...
1.
The biggest overall theme of this year was God
is faithful. It is still mind boggling
to me that a church of our size was able to support us for the whole year. In March of 2011, there was $1200 in the
mission account and in our finite minds, raising $60000 looked impossible. But by June, we had pledges from people in
our church, family and friends to fully fund the year! He continued to be faithful at every turn.
2.
He was kind in His specific care for us. I think everyone in the PC had examples of
specific care for them. He is a big God,
but He is also very personal and knows how to care specifically for all of
us. A couple examples in our life was how
He provided piano and violin teachers at affordable costs and put us in a
neighborhood that had another homeschooling family with girls the same age as
ours.
3.
This was a time for me in growing in
thankfulness and being content in where God has me in this moment. This of course is a work in progress, but I
am quicker to start thanking God when my heart begins to grumble.
4.
I got caught in the snare to compare. Every one of the wives are godly women and it
was easy to see how so many of them would make great pastor's wives. I found myself getting jealous and
angry. Then it dawned on me to start
thanking God for the unique gifts He gave these women and wow, when I went from
grumbling to thanking, it totally changed my view and attitude.
5.
This year was very difficult in regard to the
hives I have been suffering from for the past 2 and half years. For some reason, they became worse out east
and it was difficult to get them under control.
I was on steroids for relief over 40 times and this was only when they
were on my face or were so bad I couldn't take it anymore. I have grumbled a lot and pleaded for them to
be healed. I am still asking for
healing, but I am also, through the help of the Holy Spirit, trying to trust
the Lord that there is some purpose in this suffering. I have no idea what it is yet, but I do know
that God uses all things for our good and His glory. And I hope I am quicker to return to that
truth than I was a year ago.
6.
I need to adopt more of an upward and outward
focus. It is so easy to fall into a pity
party for myself...there is never enough time, I have too much to do, Ken gets
to do all the "fun stuff" (as if work is all fun for him) while all I
do is take care of kids and home, I just need some time to myself, and on and
on it goes. When I reorient my heart
towards the One who ordains my steps and look at serving others as my offering
to the Lord, again, it changes everything.
I hope I am growing in this too.
7.
Finally, during this year, God has been gently
showing me that I need to take more initiative in pursuing relationships
instead of just waiting for things to happen or for people to come to me. This is a challenge as my tendency is to
retreat into myself, but by God's grace, He is giving me the ability to take
steps in this.
What a gift this past year has been!
